True Beauty

We Americans sometimes have a very warped sense of beauty. My friend, Vreni, from Switzerland taught me this - not by her words, but by her actions.

When I met Vreni, she was here for a two-year stay because of a temporary work assignment her husband, Peter, accepted here in the States. Having no English language skills, she packed up her four children and some of their belongings, and bravely crossed the Atlantic for an adventure. And oh, how blessed I was, to be included in her experience!

Vreni is one of the most brave, strong, and loving women I have ever met. But she's no striking European "beauty." She's athletic and in shape with boundless creative energy. Her youngest daughter is a Down syndrome child and Vreni never tires of the constant training, teaching, and caring for this little girl. I guess you could say Vreni is "plain." She doesn't pluck her eyebrows, spend time with designer hair styles and cuts, color her hair, wear much makeup, or bother with looking trendy with the latest fashions. It's not that she doesn't appreciate outward beauty or the use of cosmetics and fashion to enhance looks, but it's not her focus. She's beautifully plain - her life is consumed with more vital concerns.

Vreni once told me that what she noticed most in our culture was not only how overweight the population seemed, but that we seemed obsessed with "fixing" ourselves superficially. In other words, instead of taking care of the body and being active and healthy, working on ourselves from the INSIDE OUT, we spent lots of money on fixing our ourselves from the OUTSIDE IN (botox, liposuction, makeup, designer-label clothes, fad diets). She knew that a healthy body on the inside reflected on the outside!

European women tend to eat much less processed food than us, they understand moderation much better, and while they can be some of the most glamorous women in the world, they exude beauty from their health. You see, Vreni focuses on internal beauty - not the outward adornment and trappings, but the inner strength of health and character.

Being of sturdy health is important and evident in how she feeds her family and in the activities her family enjoys. Bikes are used as transportation everywhere and for "holidays," they spend their time skiing, hiking, mountain climbing. They enjoy the beauty of nature, fresh air, and handgrown gardens. Breakfast is muesli and fruit. Lunch is the bigger meal of the day, usually filled with vegetables, some fresh bread, fresh fruit, and lean meat. Supper is their light meal, sometimes consisting only of whole-grain bread and cheese. That's it! Their desserts are not nearly as sweet as ours, but delicious nonetheless. Food doesn't consume their thoughts. They seem to have a grip on eating to live, not living to eat, yet still enjoying food and the company with which they break bread.

In the midst of exhibiting a healthy body on the inside, Vreni displayed another inner beauty: character...hard work, kind-heartedness, and honesty. Not once in Vreni's two years here did she become influenced by the ads bombarding her all the way from billboards to TV: "Diet your way to being thin AND beautiful, botox and liposuction your way to a flawless physique, happiness is found in physical appearances, beauty is skin deep." No. She stayed true to understanding the big picture of a woman's beauty: her love for her family, her care and concern for their health as well as her own, her loyalty to her friends, her faithfulness to her loved ones, her talents and skills.

And what Vreni gave to me in her gift of friendship, was her encouragement to me as a woman! She wasn't put off by my outward appearance. She never made me feel uncomfortable with my weight, but she made me look at a new side to eating healthy and becoming more active. And she didn't condemn me for my choice in using makeup or fashion to try to look "beautiful," because she understood that I wasn't finding value in myself through it, just enjoying how I looked with it. But she didn't just let me be... she always focused and appreciated on who I was as a person. She complimented my parenting, my family, my new skills in knitting, my cooking, my intelligence, my faith, all while encouraging me in an active lifestyle and healthier eating by her example. She knew me. Inside. And that is the greatest gift of all. She gave me a balanced perspective of myself. Yes, I was overweight - and for health reasons (NOT beauty) - she showed me that I needed to attend to that. But more than anything, I needed a balanced perspective about myself - and one that was not skin deep. I needed to reject my culture's idea of beauty, and instead embrace a strong and beautiful inner body - in health and character.

So in your quest for weightloss, keep your perspective untainted and clear. Do not define yourself by this culture's definition of beauty! Instead, focus on the inside out, pursuing the beauty of health and character!!